A Totally Unbiased Review of ink! Coffee.
Before we visited Riverfront Park’s ink!, we kicked off the day home-brew–style with an Intelligentsia coffee through the trusty Chemex. We kept it mild to keep our taste buds open, because our minds were not. We’d been tricked before by that super sexy logo, only to find the coffee couldn’t hold up to the design.
Narrative switch to second-person present tense. Dear reader, come to ink! with us.
You walk in the door. Sucker punch. Nasty ass smooth jazz. Night Court ( link to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86887s5DIXA) nasty. Bad enough in an elevator. God forbid you need to do some real work.
But you have an open mind. Remember. It’s SO open. You ask the cashier if they do any single-origin, pour-over, Chemex or Aero Press. She casts a confused look to the barista. He says they have a Peruvian in the espresso hopper. Oh really? Bring it!
Being a curious soul, you ask about the house espresso. Where’s it from? How’s it roasted? Answer… wait for it… wait for it… (they “won’t tell us”). You pick up a bag of the house espresso and low and behold, it’s from places. On a map (link to: http://www.inkcoffee.com/pdfs/beanguide.pdf). Like Africa and shit. Guess it’s hard to know what you don’t know. Barista’s choice on the menu board is listed as Italian Soda. High fructose corn syrup in soda water. Very. Bad. Sign. You sit down. Drink some… coffee and walk out super bummed. A side note: Its such a pet peeve of mine when a barista asks me if I want my espresso for-here or to-go. Always for here…no matter what. Espresso is always meant to be drank in ceramic/glass, within 3 minutes of its pull. I can already tell the shop doesn’t care about quality presentation. No tasty brews here. For a detail of our tasting notes, see below.
Boy. That was fun dear reader. Glad you came along for the ride? Here’s our take on the deal:
Cultivator, ink!’s ad agency and design studio gets an A for the brand. It’s fun. It’s engaging. The ink! puns work. Ninjas are cool. They killed it. Ink! doesn’t even get an F for their coffee. They’re held back a year and sequestered to the short bus. That’s ’cuz of their total lack of service, knowledge and expertise, which would have been tolerable if the coffee was decent, but honestly, we’ve had a better cup of coffee in Cultivator’s kitchen. True story.
Overall, ink! occurs to us like a Starbucks wannabe, which is confusing. In this day and age, if you invest in a roaster, super expensive retail rents and a quality ad agency, somewhere along the line someone had vision and a passion for coffee. That passion is not to be found in their cups. The only educated guess we’re willing to make is this: big ass Aspen money. Someone with funding was hoping to strike gold with a rad brand and crap coffee. Now, there’s nothing wrong with funding. But the ink! model? That’s been done. It’s a saturated market. Try getting behind something like Blue Bottle. They’ve got a line for days in a city that knows. If you feel the need to franchise a coffee shop, try founding your values on… dunno… something like… coffee, perhaps? And not the high margins of Italian sodas. Educate your customers on the holy trinity of grower, roaster and barista. Sorry ink!. You be a decade behind the old bell curve. Thumbs down and tongues out from us. But we’re sure your neighbors will appreciate yet another version of the franchises they love. We wish you nothing but the best in attempting marketing prowess by way of heart-shaped latte art and slogans (link to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latte_art).
| Drink | Notes |
| Peruvian espresso | Served in a 4-oz. cup even though they had proper espresso cups. Had crema. Caramely sweet, buttery mouthfeel. But a bad grind and very small pour. |
| House espresso-blend | No grinding of the beans per shot, the hopper was totally full of ground beans. Yikes. Dark chocolate, syrupy sweet, mild smokiness. Charcoal for days. |
| 6610 coffee blend | Dark roast, super smokey. Nothing exciting about this blend except for the elevation it was roasted at-6610. |
| Cappuccino | No crema, definitely ‘capped’ with nasty milk foam. And the small is 12-oz. Unpalatable. Same notes as above, just more milk and a nose full of foam. |
| Cortado | Had crema on top, but no rich velvety milk or latte art. |
| Baristas | Friendly & excited about what they were serving. Not knowledgeable. |
















